


I love you, with all your flaws

by fanaticmia



Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: AU, Alec Lightwood Loves Magnus Bane, Alexander Gideon Lightwood - Freeform, Alternate Universe, Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Angst with a Happy Ending, Concert, Hurt, Hurt Magnus Bane, Hurt/Comfort, ILYs, M/M, Magnus is strong, Magnus' past, Malec, Malec AU, Past Rape/Non-con, alec lightwood - Freeform, magnus bane - Freeform, magnus bane/alec lightwood - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-08
Updated: 2017-04-08
Packaged: 2018-10-16 10:17:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,910
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10569267
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fanaticmia/pseuds/fanaticmia
Summary: “I don’t feel very comfortable at concerts.” His voice was low and Alec had to move closer to hear what he was saying.Alec felt stupid and blamed himself for this. “I am so sorry, Magnus! I shouldn’t have had planned it without asking you. I thought you liked parties so you must like concerts too and I just- I am such an idiot. I am so sorry, I just wanted to make you happy. I didn’t know-“Basically, an AU where Magnus and Alec are not a part of the Shadow world but are normal people. With problems that can't just go away with a snap of fingers. Magnus shares his past with Alec.





	

**Author's Note:**

> I wanted to highlight the side of Magnus that is vulnerable and weak at times because he is every bit as human as anyone else and normally, people don’t look at that side of him. 
> 
> Here it goes!

Alec had planned a surprise for his boyfriend for the first time and knowing Magnus’ likes and dislikes, he decided to take him to a concert. Even though Alec wasn’t a big fan of going to concerts but he figured Magnus would be. 

He arrived at Magnus’ loft and knocked on the door. He was greeted by a well dressed, tall man with colourful spiked hair, his fingers laiden with rings, his beautiful face enhanced with makeup and a glittery blue eyeliner. 

“Hello, my love. I was waiting for you.” Magnus said calmly, with a smile spread across his angelic face and Alec could tell he was very happy. Alec felt a surge of love for this man and leaned in to kiss him lightly on the lips. He held Magnus’ hand and led him out.

Soon they reached the place and Magnus’ tensed at the sight of the crowded, dim lit place. He looked at Alec who was fighting to get ahead in the line and he knew that Alec was doing it for him but how can he tell him now? Tell him all of it? It will upset Alec so much and he can’t see Alec upset, not because of him.

He silently followed Alec, holding his hand tightly, afraid Alec might get separated from him in this huge crowd. After a few minutes of pushing hrough the crowd to get a good place, Alec looked at Magnus, he got worried.

“What happened, babe? Are you not feeling well?” he asked, worry flashing off his very readable face. Magnus was trying very hard to not show his uneasiness but seemed like he was failing. Alec touched his cheek, worriedly.

“No, it’s uh-“ his breath hitched in his throat. A voice in his mind was shouting at him to get out of here, to hug Alec as tightly as he could afraid he might get lost, to cry it all out to Alec but he couldn’t. It was like something was stuck in his throat. ‘-it’s fine, Alexander.” He managed a weak smile. “I just needed water, my throat is all dry.” He finished meekly.

“Okay, you stay here, I’ll be back with water in a m-“ he was cut off by a terrified gasp from Magnus. “No! Don’t. It’s okay, ju- just stay with me.” His voice cracked. He realised he was way more frightened than he wanted to admit. 

“Magnus, you are scaring me.” All emotions washed off of Alec’s face except for concern. His brows had tightened and scrunched as he moved his face closer to Magnus’ and putting a finger under his chin, he lifted his face up. Magnus had turned all white and what scared Alec more was that he didn’t know what was the reason behind it.

The band came on to the stage and a loud noise erupted from the crowd as everyone started pushing each other towards the stage. Magnus kept his hands on his ears and said something to Alec but he couldn’t make out the words in the loud noise of the crowd. Before Alec got a chance to ask him what he said, Magnus turned on his heels and ran through the crowd. Alec was startled. He had never seen Magnus this way and he did not know what to do now. 

He was regretting his decision of bringing him here. He pushed through the crowd and reached the gate of the place but Magnus was nowhere in sight. He tried his cellphone and it just kept ringing. He scanned the whole place again and again hoping to find Magnus somewhere, his heartbeat had skyrocketed and he was panting hard. He got out the event place and searched through the streets, still trying to call Magnus, hoping he’d pick up. And he did. 

“Oh thank god you picked up, Magnus! Where are you? I searched everywhere!” his voice was distraught and it made Magnus feel even worse about himself. What had he just done?

“I – I am home, Alexander.” He spoke feebly.

“Home? What- but you- nevermind. I am coming there. We need to talk.” Alec said, without hearing Magnus’ protest, he hung up and hurried towards Magnus’ loft.

It didn’t take him long to reach there as he pulled out his spare key to Magnus’ apartment and unlocked the door, running inside to look for Magnus. He found him sitting in the corner of his bedroom, knees pulled upto his chest and he hugged them tightly, still looking white as a paper, all his glamour and fanciness was gone. Seeing him like this ached Alec’s heart. He ran towards Magnus, kneeled down and hugged him as tight as he could, never wanting to let go and Magnus hugged him back with equal force and love. 

Alec finally breaking the embrace, moved back and looked into Magnus’ eyes and his heart sank into his stomach. His eyes were scared stiff. He cupped his boyfriend’s face gently. “What happened there? You- you scared me to death, Magnus. What happened?” he let out between breathy pants. 

“I don’t feel very comfortable at concerts.” His voice was low and Alec had to move closer to hear what he was saying. 

Alec felt stupid and blamed himself for this. “I am so sorry, Magnus! I shouldn’t have had planned it without asking you. I thought you liked parties so you must like concerts too and I just- I am such an idiot. I am so sorry, I just wanted to make you happy. I didn’t know-“

“No, no Alexander, no. It’s not your fault.” Magnus spoke a little louder than before, a tear escaping his eyes as he kept a hand on Alec’s cheek. “Don’t blame yourself. I know you wanted to make me happy and I should be the one apologizing for sprinting out of their like a child. I couldn’t stand it any longer, I am so-“ Alec removed one hand from Magnus’ cheek and put a finger on his lips. He leaned closer, touching their foreheads as he moved his body closer to the man he loved, their noses brushing slightly. 

“But still, I should have at least asked you. This whole surprise thing was a stupid idea. I just am not used to being around people, I don’t know what is usually liked or disliked, I didn’t think for a second that it could make you uncomfo-“ Magnus broke off Alec’s rambling.

“Alexander, my love, stop blaming yourself. It is not your fault. You are perfect and I am so lucky to be with you. And I don’t blame you either, you did the right thing. You couldn’t have guessed it, its just-“ his voice trailed off.

“What is it, Magnus? Tell me.” Alec’s eyes pleaded and Magnus couldn’t help as another tear escaped his eyes. 

“I – I can’t.” 

“Please, Magnus. You know you can tell me anything.” Alec insisted.

“I- you won’t- I am afraid I might lose you if I tell you that. Or you might look at me differently, you might not-“ a sob broke off his trembling voice. “not love me after knowing that.”

Alec felt a deep ache, he loved Magnus so much that words could never be enough to describe it. His anger for whoever had hurt Magnus, so much that he was afraid to trust anyone, anymore, just flared like a fireball inside him and he took Magnus in his arms. He placed Magnus’ head on his chest and held him all the love he had for this amazing man in his embrace. His eyes now stung with tears too. Who had hurt this man so much? Magnus was made of nothing but love, who could be so monstrous to hurt this angel?

“Oh, Magnus! There is nothing, nothing in this world that can stop me from loving you or- or take me away from you. God knows, I can’t live without you. I will always love you, more and more but never less. The more I get to know you, the deeper I fall for you. You have my heart and I want to have yours, with all its perfections and flaws. I promise to you I will treasure it with all my soul.” He paused and then continued. “I love you so much and nothing can ever change that.” He finished, a tear rolled down his cheek. He meant every word of it.

Magnus couldn’t hold his tears back anymore. The flashes of his past were stabbing like a knife and now Alec’s words just made his heart explode. He was crying, bawling into Alec’s chest like a baby. Alec loved him so much, he never thought he would ever get someone like Alec, neither did he believe that he deserved so much love. 

After crying for what seemed like hours, Magnus straightened up and looked at Alec. Alec looked at him and saw that his makeup was smudged, blue and black lines were streaked across his cheeks. Alec wiped the tears and smudges from Magnus’ face as Magnus spoke, looking down.

“It was years ago, I went to a concert with a couple of friends and we drank a lot. I was totally wasted and the music was blasting into my ears. A man caught hold of me and took me away from the crowd, in a very secluded spot around a corner. It wasn’t very far from the crowd and I could still hear the music and my head hurt like crazy. I didn’t know what was happening till he pushed me to the ground and pinned me down. Things around me froze and I struggled to get free but he was too strong. I tried shouting but he kept a hand on my mouth, muffling my cries. He sexually assaulted me and the whole time, there was loud music being blasted into my ears. There were so many people there but yet I wasn’t saved from that monster. I cried and begged him to leave me but he didn’t. When he was done with me, he left me there, in a corner, like a piece of trash.” Tears rolled down his cheeks in streams, his voice wavering but he didn’t stop.

“I sat their for hours until almost dawn and then walked home. I was in shock for days, didn’t go out, didn’t eat, sleep or answer anyone’s calls. After months like that, I pushed the whole incident into the back of my mind and decided to go on with life. Since then, I don’t go to concerts. They unnerve me, remind of that night.”

He stopped and inhaled a long, raggedy breathe. Alec spoke, “I- I can’t- I am so sorry, Magnus. I want to kill that man who hurt you. I swear, I won’t let anyone hurt you.” And he hugged Magnus again. 

“Don’t be. I know, that is why I love you.” Magnus said. Alec’s eyes widened in surprise. “Y-you love me?” he stuttered.

“Ofcourse I do. I wasn’t sure until now if what we had was real or just a fantasy. But now I am.”

Magnus leaned in and kissed Alec and Alec kissed back with longing and love, it was slow but made them want more, made them feel like they were floating. Magnus moved back, not at all done with the kiss. “Alexander Lightwood, you are the best that has ever happened to me!” and he resumed the kiss.

**Author's Note:**

> What do you think of this fic? This is my first time writing hurt/angst. Suggestions and feedback always welcome.  
> Thanks!  
> Follow me on twitter: @malecxcoliver


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